Wednesday, January 28, 2009


As we approach Valentines Day, many of us start focusing on our relationships, or lack thereof. It is my wish that all of you reading this have a loving and healthy relationship in your life. But even loving and healthy relationships need our special attention from time to time. Relationships are dynamic, constantly changing. They must be tended to daily, and we must be flexible enough to shift and change along with them. I wanted to share with you some relationship advice that Dr. Laura Berman details in her audio program, Guide to a Loving Relationship. The “soft addictions” portion surprised me and I realized this was something that I needed to work on. The technological innovations that permanently connect us to the outside world are amazing, but they can get in the way of being present with the people we love.

Dr. Berman advises: ·
  • Never go more than two weeks without having sex. Having sex regularly keeps you more emotionally in tune, more connected, you get angry less easily, and you fight less often. It’s also great for your immune system and your health. ·
  • One key to keeping your relationship strong is making sure you take time to create your own life, what psychologists call “individuation.” Make sure that you have your own friends, your own hobbies, and your own life. While it’s very important to spend time with your partner, you also need to find time for yourself.
  • Soft addictions (such as blackberries, video games, shopping) get in the way of intimacy between partners. National research shows that partners who spend more than an hour every evening tending to their soft addictions have significantly less sex than those who don’t. · When men and women experience stress, they respond to sex differently. Men fall into a “fight flight” response, which increases their adrenaline and makes them want to have sex to let off steam and feel more powerful. Woman fall into a “tend and befriend” response, which lowers their testosterone levels (the hormone of desire) causing them a lowering of libido. If you’re aware of this difference, you can be more sensitive to your partners’ needs.

How do you keep your relationship healthy? We would love to hear from you! Please add your comment below.


Gina Parris said...

Really great tips! I made the commitment to "be the pursuer" at least twice a week. This made my husband howl with excitement and make the statement, "I would have been thrilled with twice a month!" Dang.

Gina Parris
Creator of the forthcoming program:
The Romance Rescue - How to Have Really Great Sex, When You're NOT in the Mood

Dr. Joy's admin said...

Hypnotherapy can be a real benefit in our quest to creating healthy relationships. Dr. Vanderbeck was a real "Joy" to work with. She helped our family unravel problems stemming from many generations of shame and subterfuge. It was so liberating for all of us when we came to the root of problems that had plagued us as individuals and hampered our relationships. We continue, as necessary, to contact Joy and receive the continuing support we need to be contented with ourselves and our lives. She has encouraged and promoted our independence and happiness. Signed,

Hypnotherapy is a valuable and powerful tool for self-discovery, empowerment and change. So many times people do not achieve their goals in life because their subconscious programming is fighting their heart's desires. Hypnotherapy is a means to bring harmony to the parts of the mind, so that you can easily achieve the experiences in life that are yours by your Divine Right! Want to learn more? Every Challenge Has a Solution!

Dr. Joy Vanderbeck, Ph.D., can help you improve your relationships! Sessions can even be done over the phone.
Email Joy at or call (817) 261-6044